Birth to Bushey - Lifecycle Events
Bat Mitzvah
Bat Mitzvah
You may have been to friends’ or siblings’ Bat Mitzvah celebrations and seen anything from at-home get-togethers to lavish, wedding-style events. It has become more and more common in the last few decades to throw big parties, but it’s important to remember that a Bat Mitzvah is much more than just a party.
The Bat Mitzvah is an important link in a continuous chain of religious and spiritual experiences, and the most crucial aspect of this milestone is the impact and long term effect the experience will have on the young woman’s Jewish identity. Your preparations should reflect this focus and not be dominated by less important matters.
The pre-Bat Mitzvah months are a good time to spend learning more about the mitzvahs, and the how’s and why’s of doing them. It’s a time to develop your own personal relationship with Judaism and G‑d.
Girls reach Bat Mitzvah at the age of 12. It is popular for the Bat Mitzvah girl to celebrate this occasion by delivering a Dvar Torah and having a party. Pinner Shul offers a range of options for families to consider when planning for this wonderful time in their daughter’s life.
“We are always keen to meet Bat Mitzvah girls and their families…”
Pinner has a number of ladies who are available to prepare girls for their Dvar Torah (in a private arrangement).
Bat Mitzvah Celebrations
The Wardens will be happy to discuss the options with you in more detail to help you come to the best decision for your big day. For many of the options, the Priestly Blessing is said to the Bat Mitzvah at the end of the service. This can be said by a Rabbi or the parents, and a recording of the blessing is available.
Option 1 – Full Ceremony/Programme not on Shabbat
We will put together a tailor-made programme/ceremony in conjunction with the Bat Mitzvah girl, her family & her tutor. (This will incorporate her D’var Torah). The idea of this option is to create a meaningful ‘event’ that will be memorable, spiritual and emotional moving for the Bat Mitzvah girl and family.
When?
There are currently 3 possibilities:
- A Ceremony on Sunday at the party venue. The Ceremony would take place prior to the start of the party
- A Ceremony on the Sunday at the Shul prior to party. Guests can then go onto the party venue.
- After Shabbat during winter months incorporating a musical Havdallah theme.
How long?
Approx 45 minutes but this is flexible.
What does the programme consist of?
Possible elements include: Procession with family & Bat Mitzvah girl, Musical Havdallah, Powerpoint presentation/ back drop related to the D’var Torah, D’var Torah with interludes that relate to the content, Mother (Grandparents) & Daughter Shabbat Candle Lighting, Parents Blessing, more congregational participation.
Our aim is to develop a programme that will capture people’s interest, be memorable, inspire and uplift and most importantly be unique to you.
Option 2 – D’var Torah on Shabbat
Format 1 – Before Kiddush
Your daughter can deliver a D’var Torah after the service has finished but before the Kiddush. The entire congregation will be present, ladies will be invited to come forward and your daughter will deliver it from the front of the Shul or the Bimah. After the D’var Torah, your daughter will be addressed by her teacher, which will be followed by a blessing and the singing of Eshet Chayil by the entire congregation. Everyone will then be invited into Kiddush.
Format 2- After Kiddush
Your daughter can deliver a D’var Torah after the Kiddush. All of your guests will come back into the main Shul to listen and some of the regular members of the congregation may come too. Men and women sit together and your daughter will deliver her D’var Torah from the front of the shul (from in front of the Ark). After the D’var Torah, our daughter will be addressed by her teacher which will be followed by a blessing and the singing of Eshet Chayil by all those present.
Format 3 – On Friday Night
The Friday night Kabbalat Shabbat service has a unique atmosphere here in Pinner with beautiful congregational singing. The service includes Minchah and lasts between 45mins to 1 hour.
The D’var Torah would be given at the end of the service. Men and women sit together and your daughter will deliver her D’var Torah from the front of the Beit Hamidrash. After the D’var Torah, your daughter will be addressed by her teacher which will be followed by a blessing and the singing of Eshet Chayil by all those present.
Format 4 – At the Youth Service
Your daughter can deliver a D’var Torah in the Youth Service which is held upstairs in the Beit Hamidrash on Shabbat morning. You may invite all of your guests to attend the youth service and your daughter will be able to deliver her D’var Torah. For this option, you would need to liaise with our Youth Directors to organise the event.
Format 5 – No D’var Torah
Your daughter does not do a D’var Torah on Shabbat morning at all. Her father can be called to the Torah and a special prayer will be said from the Bimah . At the end of the service and before Kiddush, your daughter can come forward to the front to be blessed, either by you or one of the service leaders, without a full address to her.
Other Points
Aliyot – Honours
For any of the options chosen we will honour the father / guardian by giving them an Aliyah (calling them up to the Torah) in the main shul on the Shabbat or Shabbat before the ceremony. (Please note that due to Yarzheits we cannot always guarantee this). If you choose format 4 then any Aliyot would be given in the Youth Service.
Parents Blessing Children
For all options and formats both parents are able to bless their daughter with the traditional priestly blessing (which is customary for parents to do on Friday nights). One parent can say the Hebrew and the other will say the English, whilst placing their hands on your daughter’s head.
Sponsoring the Shabbat Leaflet
You may wish to sponsor the Shabbat leaflet that day where you can add a photograph and paragraph about your daughter. If you wish to you can also include a synopsis of the week’s Sedra, which could be a summary of the D’var Torah.
Follow along D’var Torah notes
There is also the option of printing out the entire D’var Torah and giving them out prior to the delivery.
For more information on any of the above please contact the wardens through the Shul office.
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